this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
