It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
