it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
