This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
