It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
