I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
