He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
