the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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