I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize