I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i out mim tonsoeep
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
