are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
