we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
