Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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