how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
