i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
