I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
