oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She announced her abortion via fbk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
