I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
