If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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