why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
