you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
