i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
