That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
