Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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