Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
