You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
