he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
