just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
