Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am full of burrito and curiosity
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
