i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
