She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
