I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
