I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
