sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
