when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
