i permit you to call me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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