Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
