to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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