You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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