I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Are we still banned from the library?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize