Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
