That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
