Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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