If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
