I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bring me that man meat
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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