I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
