wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize