Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
