At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
