Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize