DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
