so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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