o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
