I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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