pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
