The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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