one two three fourrrrnication!
Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
