You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
