So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
