Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
